Blog Response 4: The Moment I’ve Always Dreamed Of.

It’s a moment I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl. The sales associate walks into my dressing room with a handful of beautiful, glistening, white dresses.  Emotions are consuming me as I step into the first dress. Tears are starting to roll down my cheeks as I think about what this means. I will soon be a wife. A farm wife who will drive the combine until wee hours of the morning and check on the cows in the middle of the night. A wife who will make suppers for the men in the field and tidy the house when it’s dirty.

These are happy tears. I can’t help but stare at myself in awe of the dress. It’s beautiful. It’s everything I could have possibly asked for and more. I can hear my mom and soon to be mother-in-law laughing in the waiting area as they wait for me to come out. I open the dressing room door and silence falls as I take my first step towards the seating area. They both start to cry as I step up on the pedestal. The lace is so delicate and every single sparkle on the belt glistens in the light.

The sales associate looks at me, searching for approval, and as I give her the nod as if to say this is the one, she heads over with the bell. “Make a wish” she says. As I start to shake the bell I become the happiest I’ve ever been. My life is about to change but in the best way possible. My new role as a wife is one I’ve been waiting for since I met this man and it will soon be here. wedding2

 

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10 thoughts on “Blog Response 4: The Moment I’ve Always Dreamed Of.

  1. Hi Bailie — we are not blogging partners for this assignment, though I do sometimes read other classmate’s posts …. just wanted to congratulate you and your husband on your marriage, and wish you the best that life has to offer. Your story was a beautiful as the picture you included!

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  2. Hey Bailie! I loved this piece, I felt like I was right there with you! Do you think this moment would’ve been different for you if you weren’t gendered from an infant? As girls we are always picturing our dream wedding from practicing with barbies, to talking about it with friends, we are constantly waiting for this moment to happen. Would we feel different if we had a choice to our gender? Would we still choose to be the wife?

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    • Although I do think it would feel somewhat different if there wasn’t such an emphasis on becoming a wife, I don’t think I would choose any thing other than to be a wife. Working on the farm with my husband is beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of and I would not change it.

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  3. Hello Bailie,
    It is a beautiful thing to recognize what entering into a relationship and commitment will look like. I congratulate because you sound as if that narrative of being a farmer’s wife, and doing the things that have been predetermined. Comfort is good, and we all need it in certain instances of our lives. Growing up on a farm it became clear to me that the perception of the community around me was that my gender was to stay home and do all of the tasks that you specified above. Empowerment came from the fact that I did not have to do that. I did not have to concede what I wanted to fit the bubble of what was expected of me. I find it interesting to see the contrast in your reality because it’s what you wanted. I wonder the though, is this what you were led to believe from a young age is the correct way to be “feminine”? Or did you view your options and this was what you really wanted?

    Thank you,
    Shania

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    • Shania,
      Thank you for your opinion. I do thrive on being a wife and I don’t think it would have been any different if I was raised differently. I had two older brothers growing up and my parents were very open to anything we wanted to try. I grew up on quads, and tractors, and playing with GI Joes, and shooting gophers. Even though I played with barbies also, I feel my parents were very unbiased regarding gender on how I was raised. I am not completely traditional in the fact that I feel women should still work out of the home if they want, and if a mom does stay home, a dad should have just as many responsibilities when he gets home because being a stay at home mom is a full time job.

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  4. Pingback: Self In Relation: Are We Still Gendered? | Mrs. Bailie Shindle

  5. Pingback: WoMen’s Work | Lisa Perry's Blog

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